Sunday, November 16, 2008

Standing for Your Marriage

Today's Topic: Standing for Your Marriage

Today's Host: Chelsey at Joyfully Living

Chelsey has a great post today. If you get a chance, stop by and read it for yourself. She asks us the following:

What does commitment in marriage mean?

What kind of wife are we called
to be to our husbands?

What are ways that we can Biblically stand for
our marriage?

When I first got married, commitment meant, "for better or for worse." As in, you don't give up or walk out, no matter how hard it gets. And although that definition stays true, for me after almost 7 years, it has acquired new depth.

Commitment to something means to bind yourself to a course of action, or pledge to do something in the future. But in marriage, is commitment really just sticking with it, as in not leaving? Or does it require more? Can you still "give up" without actually getting divorced?

What if standing or fighting for our marriage was not even about something as difficult as infidelity or an unsaved husband? What if the issue was just something as mundane as not feeling cherished, or important? Or not agreeing on an important decision? Or something as simple as not feeling heard? These issues can create a crevice over time that seems irreparable.

When I think of those committed to a cause, I think of people doing everything they can to "make it happen." That's the kind of commitment I want to have in my marriage. Not just the "I'm in it for the long haul" commitment, but the "I will do everything I can to make the most of this relationship" commitment.

The kind of wife I feel God calling me to be is one who honors her husband by submitting to his leadership, supporting him in his role as leader, not undermining him when I think I know more. A wife who makes her husband feel respected by being slow to speak and listening twice as much, who asks for his advice instead of rushing into things on her own. A wife who allows her husband to hear from God and exercise his right to decide what is best for our family.

Mostly, I feel God challenging me to be a wife who honors her husband whether or not he responds the way I think he should. I want to extend love, even if I'm not getting as much attention as I want. I want to listen to hear what he has to say, even if I have to repeat myself often. That's real God-honoring commitment.

Maybe you don't have the same struggles in your marriage that I do. But I find these things really hard to remember sometimes. And even when I do remember, sometimes it's hard to find the resolve in myself to do the right thing. So that's why I have to go to the Word (like I had to today) and remind myself of what God wants to see in me. And let the Holy Spirit fill me with godly resolve to become the kind of wife God designed me to be.

There are a few ways I can align myself with God's word to take a stand for my marriage. The one that God is working on in my heart recently is to humble myself. Phillipians 2 tells us how to embrace humility like Christ. I've never understood this passage better than in the light of my marriage relationship:

"Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate?

Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form,he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

When I humble myself, bowing down before God in an act of sacrifice and worship, it gets me out of the way so God can do a lasting work in my marriage.

Right now I am practicing these things in my marriage through the Love Dare book. I hope this can help me identify ways to make humility and service a godly habit in our relationship.


LAURIE said...

Thanks for sharing some great insight today about marriage. I love it that you are using the Love Dare book and its principles in your relationship. -Blessings, Laurie

Ashley said...


What a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing and joining us at the well!

It is always so nice to here other's thoughts!!!


Chris said...

great insight! thanks for sharing!

Daniel's Mom said...

What a great post!!! I want to get the Love Dare and do it also. I'm learning to be slow to speak and listen twice as much.