Thursday, August 7, 2008


OK, two down, one to go, and then I will be caught up with you other ladies. Lori at I Will Take it Lord, all You Have to Give is the host for this one. She has chosen “Raising Godly Boys”, as our Well topic.

And while I may have had a fleeting thought of getting out of this one, she threw a few questions in there for moms of girls, so no such luck. I have to admit, this was a difficult topic for me, as it seems there are no easy answers.

As a woman at the well, you'll be meeting women who are trying to raise Godly men. These boys they are raising will grow up to marry your daughters or become leaders in your community.

"What advice would you give to them?"

"If don't have or haven't raised boys, what is your concern for boys in today's culture?"

"If you are raising girls, what is your prayer for the "boys" in her life?"

I've said it once and I'll say it again, "Boys scare me!"

I am a girl. I have two girls....I've pretty much got this dialed in (or at least know who to call by now when I'm floundering). But boys?

And yet, I was ready to take on the challenge. Both Troy and I knew our last baby was a boy. My pregnancy was so different from the previous two.

After losing the baby, we met with the Dr. for our test results and found out we had been right! It was exciting and fulfilling to know that in some small way I had "known" him as well as I thought I did.

We were told that there was a very random chromosomal issue. From the beginning, something didn't develop normally. When the Dr. explained what this child would have had to face, had he been born (and some babies are), I was thankful that God took him out of this world when he did. (I'm opting to leave out the details, as I feel they are a little too graphic, or personal - I'm not sure which.) The Dr. himself told us he believed God had spared us incredible heartache.

After going home and reading a little more on the issue, I told God I was incredibly thankful He spared our son the additional trials he would have faced in this world because boys have enough to contend with already. I would not have wanted it to be any harder on him than it already is. I realize that a boy's struggle in our society is very difficult and parents of boys need specific direction from God.

That said, as a mother of 2 beautiful girls (Daddy has said more than once as they prance out of a room - Oh we are in trou-ble!), I concluded the best thing to do is just have them betrothed.

Lest you think I jest, we've already secured the boys. And their parents agree. Both boys are 3 months older than their respecive "spouses." We adore their family and parents (who will most definitely do their best to raise godly - not to mention incredibly athletic - men). And the dating will be oh-so-easy to stomach since they live 3 states over. It's perfect!

Side note: My youngest daughter, Madeline, has severe allergies, limiting her diet to a list of about 20 foods. Recently I've made a wonderful friend, whose son has many of the same issues. She sent me an email yesterday which said this (I'm not making this up), "Thanks for the ideas and the recipes! I'll have to try some because I'm sure N. is like, why are you feeding me the same things over and over again? BTW, garlic doesn't bother Madeline? I think N. is ok with it but he can't do onions. Hey, maybe if they never grow out of their food allergies, they can get married...that way they can be sure to eat the same things. :) And if they have kids, it won't be a big deal. I wouldn't mind having you as an inlaw. :) Or is she already betrothed to someone else? :)" If you know anything about what I go through with Madeline and food, you know I'd be crazy to not consider this a valid option for her future....

All kidding aside, at ages 4 and 1 it sounds odd to say that my husband and I have already discussed the characteristics we value most for our daughter's future spouses. A little extreme, or just preparing ourselves for the inevitable, I'm not sure.

I think my question to my husband went something like, "Is there anything a guy could do to make you feel he is good enough for your girls?" After a resounding No! I changed my technique and asked, "Then as a man, what would impress you?" What we came up with was:

First, a man who is firm in his walk with God - so he can be a strong spiritual leader in his household.

Second, a man who treats our daughter well. Who is respectful, who understands how to cherish and honor her and supports her giftings/talents.

Third, a man who values hard work and is able to provide for their family. The emphasis being on good worker, not how much they provide.

Fourth, a man who possesses character and understands the importance of giving and service.

So while I may not have any advice for moms raising boys, I do empathize with their struggle to overcome today's culture and influences. And I have identified characteristics I hope to find in the boys to come, which I am currently converting to "prayers."

No comments: