Our latest addition....

Chloe Hope

Born April 22nd

7 lbs, 2 oz ~ 20 inches

 

10 days and counting

We are getting close to our due date (Aug 21). We've had a few scares, but God has been faithful to take care of our baby girl. I was put back on bedrest for a few weeks, but when I reached 37 weeks, the doctor took me off again. Thanks for all your notes asking how we've been doing. It seems to have been one adjustment after another.

I had a shirt made that pretty much sums up how I feel about this pregnancy and baby. It hasn't been easy, even now, to trust that everything is going to be OK. This past week, they performed a non stress test on the baby and the monitors weren't looking so good. The nurses faces, silence and reactions instantly brought back memories of my devastating appointment last summer. Once again I was alone and afraid of what they were going to tell me.


But I know that this baby's life, just like my other two girls', is completely in His hands. God has formed them and made each of them unique. And that brings me great comfort.

On a lighter note, we still have not decided on a name. We are taking a list of about 20 to the hospital with us. My personality likes to have everything ready, in order and planned, so this is a strange feeling for me. The other girls' names hold such perfect meanings for them as individuals, so it puts a little extra pressure to find just the right name for our next baby girl. My sister Elizabeth helped me put this in a photo. :)


In spurts I've been able to work on the nursery. I wanted to brighten it up a little, since we had a couple of bare walls. I drew up a topiary tree and a shelf-like branch that Troy cut out of wood. I finally finished painting them and he hung everything up for me.

So that's all of our news for now. I haven't checked in much lately, and just found out that I lost all the blogs I'd been following. So I'm off to rectify that the best I can.

The belly grows....

So much to catch up on. I'm nearing the end of my second trimester and have been feeling great! I started "nesting" early in anticipation of an uncomfortable last couple months and that has kept me away from blogging more than I anticipated. But more on that in a later post.

First things first. My sister Elizabeth did an amazing maternity shoot for me today and I couldn't wait to share. I'll be 7 months in just a couple of days. As you can see, the baby continues to grow nicely.

Next up ~ Madeline. She did get her cast off, after Easter. They could not determine if there was a fracture in the growth plate, and after 3 rounds of not-so-successful xrays, we decided to just take the splint off and see how she did. She's regained all motion, so we are hopeful that she is healed. We did get some cute Easter pictures, thanks again to Elizabeth, although she still wasn't too happy with her arm at that point.

Also, I am happy to announce we are now "pacifier-free!" I will admit, bedtime is not as self-motivated as before, but it is one more thing I can check off my list before the new baby arrives. Thanks to Super Nanny, we went with the reward system: mail all your pacifiers to the Paci Fairy so she can share them with other little babies, and the next morning a big girl present will arrive in its place. I was going to tell her this a few times in preparation, but the first night she started asking for an "enbelope" to mail her pacis. I scrambled to get a decent big girl present together by the next morning (some new bedtime water cups, a new bedtime blanket I sewed that night, and some dressup stuff) and that was that. She will tell anyone, she is a big girl now!

And last but not least, thank you for all your prayers for Crystal and her kids. They continue to struggle to find their new normal without a husband and daddy. From the outside, I can see that Crystal is doing a great job at continuing to keep things running, but understandably she feels overwhelmed at different times. We missed Mike's laughter at our Memorial Day swim and Bbq. We miss him during basketball playoffs. We miss him when we see his girls and all their energy. I can't imagine how many times a day she misses him.

God has been faithful during this time. We all feel His presence and see Him at work in their situation. It doesn't take away the seeming senselessness of it all, but it does bring real comfort. Specifically, please pray that we will continue to be sensitive to Crystal's needs and obedient to respond. And also, just practically, for her to be able to get some good sleep at night. Her kids have been waking her up 3 to 4 times a night, and as Moms we know it's hard enough to function normally, much less on very sporadic sleep.

I know this post has been all over the place, thanks for sticking with me. Hopefully, I'll be back sooner than later.

Long overdue updates

It's been a hard couple of weeks. I've had a difficult time finding the motivation to write at all. I mean, wasn't I just here? This journey is all too familiar. GRIEF. A different road, but a parallel path.

I've spent lots of time with Crystal and her kids, and even more time thinking and praying for them. And in so many ways, it has taken me back to the raw emotions of our own loss last summer. But in other ways it seems so much harder than what I went through.

My heart longs for Crystal and her kids to be far enough down the road that the hurt has subsided and they've found a way to make it. I wish I could do that for them. I can't, and it hurts.

O Lord, be gracious to us, we long for you.

Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

Isaiah 33:2

A blogging friend that I've never met, sent me this verse on a 3 x 5 card in a package of wonderful homemade soaps I ordered from her. She had read my last post and had some encouragement for me. Actually, she sent me 9 incredible verses. She must have remembered that I like to write them out and put them around my house. Or maybe God just put that in her heart as a gift to me. Either way, these verses are now spread around my home and car, to literally bring me strength throughout the day.

And it reminded me why I needed to write. It's because of all the beautiful emails and comments I've received that have encouraged me in the last couple weeks. Many of you have been where I am. You are all too familiar with this journey. So I share in the hopes that maybe you can help me travel it just a little bit easier.

UPDATE # 1: Pregnancy, week 20.

About two weeks ago, I had a detailed ultrasound with a perinatologist. He was checking on the baby's health, the previa, the placental tear and most importantly - Gender! I have good news all around.

The baby looks great. No issues, no "markers" to indicate any problems. We're measuring exactly on track. And there is no sign of the previa. That has grown up and the placenta is now off my cervix, clearing the way for baby to make it out with no issues when the time comes.

The placental separation cannot be found! Praise God. 12 weeks of bedrest finally did its job and my body was able to heal. More importantly, this means my physcial restrictions were lifted. And God knew the exact timing. I needed to be able to be up and around so I could help my friend these last few weeks. I would not have been able to watch her kids, since I would not have been allowed to lift the baby. My stamina is not yet what I hoped, but I'm believing it will get there. The doctor advised me to ease back into things gently. That has been easy on some days, harder on others. But my body lets me know when I've overdone it, and I don't have much choice but to sit back down for a little bit.

And lastly, it appears with some degree of certainty that we are being blessed with another girl! I'm not sure what God had in mind giving my husband four girls to take care of in his house, except that he must be pretty good at it. It was not a surprise to me, as I noted the similarities with my first pregnancies. Just like last summer I was able to be confident we were pregnant with a boy because of the differences. We are grateful and excited!

I am also happy to announce, I had my first inquiry of pregnancy from a stranger. It may have had more to do with the awkward clutching of my belly after a too-long trip with the girls to the library but I have convinced myself it is because I am finally starting to get a belly.



UPDATE #2: Madeline

I am happy to report some improvement in her health, immune system and allergies. Without getting too detailed, it appears that the chemicals that have been so hard for her body to filter out have finally started to leave her system. This allows for her filtering organs, such as her liver, to actually begin healing and stop being overtaxed. We added 3 new foods into her diet in the last 2 weeks. Foods that she previously couldn't handle. It may not seem like much, but to us it is nothing short of a miracle.

On the other hand, if you've gleaned anything from previous posts, you will already know that she is a character. She is full of life, energy and has no fear. That being said, yesterday she was at her grandparents house for an overnight with her sister and cousins. Troy and I were looking forward to an evening that didn't include making dinner, baths or bedtime routines. We had just finished one of our goals for the evening, dinner out, when we got the dreaded call.

Something involving Madeline, her cousins, her sister and a swiveling office chair resulted in a fall requiring immediate attention. (Can I just admit to you at this point that my primary feeling was not overwhelming concern for the well-being of my daughter, but rather a selfish disappointment in the loss of a rare evening alone? Just keeping it real.) In spite of her protests over the phone that she had been "healed for a minute" when everyone prayed for her, we knew we had to get it checked. This IS the same girl that toughed it out for 6 weeks with half a toothpick lodged in the arch of her foot, and only complained twice - once when it happened and six weeks later when we realized she needed a doctor visit.

So I packed my bag and made the 45 minute trip to my in-laws. My father-in-law graciously accompanied us to the ER, probably because he didn't know it was going to take over SIX hours. But thank God that he did. Madeline's arm was so hurt that she couldn't lay or sit or move without being in intense pain. I was in no condition to lift, carry and move her on my own, not to mention I wasn't allowed in the room for the X-rays.

After a second round of x-rays, the doctors could not find a fracture. That's not to say there isn't one, because apparently they hide in the growth plates of kids her age. And whether it was a fracture or a sprain, the poor kid did NOT want her arm moved. They stabilized it in a hard cast and she immediately perked up. She hasn't cried since unless you touch or move her, or she is trying to roll over in her sleep.

And yes, my two year old still has a pacifier. But seriously, at 7:30 she gets her blanket and pacifier out of her room and announces to us that she is ready for a rest. THEN, she goes to bed willingly. Who am I to mess with perfection? It's a summer goal to get rid of it. As is potty training and moving her into her sister's room. Any and all tips are welcomed.

Thank you for your notes and thoughts and prayers. I hope I get some time to get caught up with everyone in the next few weeks.

Thankful

Today I am feeling grateful. I had an appointment today and the baby is doing fine. I still have the small placenta tear, so I'm limited in activity. But I am feeling blessed and thankful that the baby is doing well.

In just a few more weeks we'll find out if we are having a baby girl or a baby boy. I have my suspicions..... I'll keep you posted.

"You are my God, and I will praise You; You are my God, I will exalt You." Psalm 118:28

For more inspiring Word Filled Wednesday, visit .

A Good Appointment

I just wanted to update you on my appointment, last week Thursday. It was my first appointment with my OB. He said everything looks great and we should be past the point of worrying now at 14 weeks. He also noted the placental tear may have gotten smaller, indicating some healing going on! He said the previa was not a concern in the first trimester (other than a few additional physical restrictions) because the uterus is so small, it is common for the placenta to overlap the cervix. He is confident that as it grows, it will move upwards and become a non-issue. I also found out I won't be high-risk for the first time!

When I asked about possible exercise, like walking (I'm getting way out of shape and really antsy to get back to normal), he was very specific. He said my goal between now and the next appointment is to rest a lot, sleep a bunch and keep myself from getting any colds or flu. He said to do things that will relax my body, like get my nails done (oh twist my arm!). Then in 2 weeks he will see me and set up an appointment with the perinatologist, who will do an extensive ultrasound and hopefully tell us not only the gender, but that the tear is gone and I can resume life. While I was disappointed to remain on bedrest (I'm going on 2 months!) I was encouraged by his specific instructions and the explanation of how it is helping the baby.

Unfortunately, I was unable to stay away from the infections going around lately, probably because I've had 2 unusually clingy, cheek-to-cheek-cuddly, very-sick girls for the past 10 days. It finally caught up with me and I've literally been in bed since Friday afternoon. I never knew you could have so many symptoms at once (and I'll spare you the details). But seriously, I didn't realize adults still got earaches!

Other non-essential information:
No, I'm not showing yet. Since I have not fully past the point of nausea, I haven't been able to put on a pound.

Yes, I'm still sick but the doctor thinks once I go off the progesterone, I'll feel much better. 5 days and counting!

Yes, I faintly felt the baby move - just once. With the girls it was much earlier than this. I think being on bedrest has affored me the luxury of wearing comfy pants all day and the first time I felt both girls move was when my too-tight pants were pressing on my belly. I think it will be more comforting to me when I can feel the baby move each day.

Thanks again for the many prayers! It appears they are working and God has protected the baby in spite of the complications.

Another Great Report!

Today was my "graduation day" ultrasound, according to the doctor. It went great, although not so much at first. The ultrasound tech asked my permission to allow an ultrasound machine representative in the room in order to teach her how to better use the new 4D machine (which is now literally no bigger than a laptop!).

I didn't have a problem with that, but I was anticipating a lot of technical mumbo-jumbo. And after what happened last time, I did have the forethought to ask if I could see the heartbeat first, so I wouldn't be watching the screen and wondering if the baby was OK. Being unfamiliar with the equipment, it took her well over a minute to get the heartbeat. At first we even got audio that sounded like a loud whooshing sound, absent of the familiar, rapid duh-dump, duh-dump I was listening for. It took so long that I finally prayed out loud, Please God not again! The doctor came in at that point, took a look at my face and asked what was the matter. I told him these ultrasounds had me so scared that we wouldn't find a heartbeat again. He found it right away and made sure I saw and heard a decent heartbeat. I was a little shook up, so he forced me to crack a smile before they would continue.

We found that the previa HAS grown upward. Praise God! What an answer to prayer. He had a hard time determining if there was still a very slight previa left or if it would now be considered a low-lying placenta (which is a step up). He finally called it low-lying, as he wants me to move on to my regular OB and that way I won't be considered high risk. So I won't need extra appointments with a perinatologist! Yay!

The placental tear is still there and is the same size. I thought that was good news until he started to lecture me about not being worried. So I asked if it was supposed to heal. And he said usually they do, but mine isn't. He assured me it is nothing to worry about, but I do have to stick with my physical limitations (ie, no lifting, bending, exercise, etc). Apparently, using abdominal muscles can strain the area and cause the tear to get bigger.

Again, the baby is measuring right on track, which means the baby is still getting enough nutrition despite my morning-day-and-night sickness and in spite of the tear.

After the doctor left, the tech and rep continued to work on the settings of the machine, and I was blessed to get to watch multiple 3D videos. (I felt like God gave me that little gift to help me get over my earlier scare.) It was so amazing to see the baby move in real time in such detail.

So all in all, a great report! I want to thank you for your many prayers and encouraging notes. The past couple months have been a struggle, learning to wait on God and trust Him in a deeper way. Even through bedrest, I feel like I have learned so much and God has been faithful to provide in every way.

I posted one of the videos here. As you can tell, the tech was working on seeing the baby from different angles. In the middle, the baby turns its bottom towards the camera and you can see the little rear end briefly. Towards the end, the baby arches it's back just like a newborn. Amazing to have a little peek into the miracle God is creating.

A Fresh Start

Today is Thankful Thursday, and I've been waiting all day to write this post. This evening, my blog got its first design, a fresh start so to speak, thanks to Danielle. If you haven't checked her out, you should! She has designed many of the blogs I enjoy reading.

Also, she's offering $10 off a blog design to the first two people who email her. Use the name of this blog as the discount code.

In addition to being thankful for my new blog, today I am especially thankful for:

my husband and my girls,

the miracle pregnancy God has given us and for this baby,

the many, many prayers for healing and peace (they are working!),

and the support of so many, especially Emily and Lauren, who come help us out every morning (and even evenings if we need them).

For more Thankful Thursday, go here.

Thankful for a Miracle

I'm happy to be joining Thankful Thursday again. I have something I want to share, that I am incredibly thankful for. But I want to be sensitive to those of you that I have connected with because of our shared loss. I have been so encouraged by the stories of women who have dealt with infertility and who have lost babies of their own. I hope my story only continues to encourage you that God is bigger than what we can see.

If you've read my story of infertility, you know what we have faced. After my diagnosis of severe endometriosis, it appeared that we would only become pregnant after surgery, which has happened twice. And even then the doctors give us a slim 0.5% chance of conceiving.

Today, I am overwhelmingly grateful for the little miracle God has blessed us with, in spite of the doctor's diagnosis, and without surgery.




Although our intentions were to wait until we were well into the second trimester to share our news, a complication changed our minds. This little one is 8 weeks and could use some prayers. The same ultrasound that confirmed there was indeed excellent growth and a strong heartbeat, was the same to show that there is a large, threatening blood clot. It could be something old, although it was not detected in an ultrasound just 2 weeks ago, or it could be the placenta trying to separate from the uterus.

The doctor sentenced me to bedrest/no lifting, with the hope that the blood clot will reabsorb or the separation will heal. Incredibly, my husband is also recovering from double wrist surgery and has a 1 lb weight limit at the moment. I also have severe aversions to smells, mostly anything fragranced or edible. And I get extremely nauseaus when I eat, so I haven't been. The doctor said this was not helpful to the pregnancy and we are looking into a couple options to help with that as well.

Again, we seem to be in a battle to keep this baby, but that's the way it always is around here. Please pray for our little one (and for us). The pain of our last loss is still strong. In spite of that, we know who our God is and we put our lives, and the life of this very tiny baby, in His hands.

Today Iris was thankful for God's word and she shared this verse. Little did she know how meaningful it would become to me.

“This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.” ~ Psalm 119:50 (ESV)

Blessings,

Today Iris was thankful for God's word. What are you thankful for? For more words of inspiration visit her at Sting My Heart....