This song was speaking to my heart today. I don't have the option of not praising God just because my situation is hard. Because God is seated on His throne, and He has promised not to abandon us. The song says He knew my name before there was time. Well, He knew this baby also. I am working on fully trusting those promises, and replacing my fears with praise.
All My Praise
I will follow You through green pastures And sing hallelujah to Your Name I will follow You through dark disaster And sing hallelujah through the pain
And even in the shadow of death I will praise You And even in the valley I will say
Holy, My God You are worthy of all my praise Holy, My God You are worthy of all my praise
You are seated on your throne in heaven And You see all of us down here And You have promised You will not abandon So I shall not fear
And even in the shadow of death I will praise You And even in the valley I will say
Holy, My God You are worthy of all my praise Holy, My God You are worthy of all my praise
You made every star And You taught it how to shine You knew my name before there was time And all this was just part of Your glorious design Hallelujah, Hallelujah
If you're short on time, skip to the bottom and just listen to the song. If you've got just a minute, you must hear this amazing inspirational story. Jill McCloghry suffered the imaginable just days before the recording and taping of the brand new Hillsong album, This is Our God, including this song "Desert Song."
While it would have been easy to turn inward, she decided to turn her pain into praise, and went ahead and recorded the album. What a painful, beautiful example for us all.
Desert Song
This is my prayer in the desert And all that's within me feels dry This is my prayer in the hunger in me My God is a God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire In weakness or trial or pain There is a faith proved Of more worth than gold So refine me Lord through the flames
And I will bring praise I will bring praise No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in the battle And triumph is still on it's way I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life In every season You are still God I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest When favor and providence flow I know I'm filled to be emptied again The seed I've recieved I will sow
The Song
*Jill McCloghry sings "Desert Song" with Brooke Fraser
I had a different song set to post as part of today's Then Sings My Soul, but God was really working on my heart and I felt I had to share this song instead.
I've been so encouraged by each of the emails, comments and PRAYERS you all have left. They have helped keep me in the right place, which is closer and closer to my loving Father. I have been praying that I would feel His peace. I'm craving it.
Tonight in the middle of family movie night, I started to have noticable pain in my abdomen and I got so distracted and worried about what it may mean. To be completely transparent, I think my desire for this baby (that in my worry I was working so hard not to get attached to) was stopping me from resting in that peace that I desire so much.
I realized what I had to do. I had to hand over my desires, and even my plans for this tiny baby's life, to the God who created us. Just as I have with each of my other kids. Only then will I be able to rest in His perfect peace.
This last summer when we lost our baby, I was able to bring glory to God through my response afterward. But this time I have the opportunity to bring Him glory in the midst of it. It's a challenge, for sure, but I can only pray that God enables me to accomplish it.
A friend recently shared part of a quote by Elisabeth Elliot, ""Waiting requires patience - a willingness calmly to accept what we have or have not...." And I've been thinking about that. Am I willing to accept whatever God has for me and for this baby? And can I do it calmly, without being rendered useless by all the worry?
I heard this song, While I'm Waiting, on Debra's playlist, and I cannot stop listening to it. What a message it sent straight to my heart. This is what I want my life to be during this time - an offering of praise to the living God.
I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am hopeful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it is painful But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race Even while I wait
I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it's not easy But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve you while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
This song spoke to me a few weeks ago in church and reminded me that through each event in our life, God is capable of bringing glory to His name - no matter how impossible that may seem to us.
At the start he was there, he was there In the end, he’ll be there, he’ll be there
And After all our hands have wrought He forgives
Oh the Glory of it all is: he came here For the rescue of us all that we may live for the glory of it all for the glory of it all
All is lost find him there, find him there After night Dawn is there, Dawn is there
After all falls apart he repairs he repairs
Oh the Glory of it all is: he came here for the rescue of us all that we may live for the glory of it all
After night comes the light dawn is here dawn is here it’s a new day it’s a new day everything will change things will never be the same we will never be the same
Oh, The glory of it all is you came here for the rescue of us all that we may live for the glory of it all
Oh you are here with redemption for us all that we may live for the glory of it all for the glory of it all oh the glory of it all
Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning And Who told the ocean you an only come this far? And Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening? Whose words alone can catch a falling star?
Well I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives Let all creation testify This life within me cries I know my Redeemer lives
As I watched this video, I could hear myself having one of those very personal conversations with God. (And as such, certain details will remain nameless.)
"Lord, I'm inspired. And if I could ask for anything, I would want to do such and such. But I know it is near impossible."
And as unfeasbile as it would seem to everyone else, including me, God's reply would be
"My daughter, you desire what? Well, here's what I can do. I made the heavens and the earth. I can move mountains. I can fulfill the desires of your heart for my glory. While it may seem inconceivable, I will accomplish it in you. Trust in Me."
And then I would be reminded that because my satisfaction, my happiness and my contentment are found in Him alone, He has given me the desires of my heart. If He has placed them there, how could they be preposterous? Would He not fulfill the work He Himself started in my heart?
"Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." ~ Psalm 37:4,5
Verse 1 He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.
Chorus And oh, how He loves us so, Oh how He loves us, How He loves us so
I never felt I had much of a "testimony." I grew up in a Christian home, our church family was as close as our real family. I knew the presence of God in my life at a young age. And by the time I was 10, I knew I was supposed to use my life to tell others about our amazing God. I continued to stay close to God. Attended Bible College. And began to work in ministry.
But after hearing this song and incredible video, my definition of 'testimony' was redefined. I realized I had many, many cardboard testimonies. Many of them physical. Some emotional. And the most important ones, spiritual. Even as I struggle today in some of these areas, it inspires me to look back and remember all that God has been to me.
Diagnosed with a pituitary brain tumor -- "impossibly" healed, according to my doctors
Told I had many reasons for infertility -- have had 3 miracle pregnancies
Heart breaking miscarriages -- Peace and joy beyond my understanding
What is your cardboard testimony? I would love to be encouraged by yours as well.
A thousand times I've failed Still your mercy remains And should I stumble again Still I'm caught in your grace
Chorus: Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control Consume me from the inside out Lord Let justice and praise become my embrace To love You from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
OK, the real reason I love this song is the first line, "A million times I fail still your mercy remains." Yep. That's my song. I'm completely indebted to the mercy and grace that allows me to move past my mistakes. For example, yesterday I was sharing something I should not have been and even as I was saying it I was thinking to myself "Stop talking!" It was as if I was in slow motion and couldn't stop the words from escaping my lips and jumping to their death. That's why I'm glad God's mercies are new every morning. Today is a new day. With a new chance to make God proud.
But it's the "inside out" part of this song that recently caught hold of my heart. What we choose to do on the outside, is a direct result of what is going on inside. I alluded to this in a recent post. I want to love God from a desire in my heart, not because being a Christian obligates me. I want to honor God with my life because it brings us closer, not because it's "the right thing to do."
I walked with the Lord a long time before I understood the difference between doing something to fulfill the role of a good believer, and doing something because I desired to stay near to God. If you've read any of my blog, I'm sure you're aware that we lost our son when I was 12 weeks pregnant. Before that experience, I would say my walk with the Lord was lacking. I wanted to be closer to Him. I did most of the right things outwardly, but I wasn't actively seeking. Honestly, I found it hard to fit Him into my day.
After the trauma of losing our baby, my perspective changed. Suddenly and drastically. God was no longer just Someone to call up when it was useful, I needed Him - every minute, every hour, every day. Spending time with Him was no longer based on convenience, it was necessity. There was no other option.
The natural outcome of this utter dependence is a desire to clear out anything in my life that keeps me from getting closer to Him. Not because anyone said it was bad. Not because I felt convicted in a sermon. But because after I've been surrounded by God's love and comfort, it is hard to spend time on trivial things. I'm talking about things that aren't bad, but they don't hold any real value because they don't bring me any closer to Him.
I didn't make a conscious decision, I just lost my taste for those kids of things. For me personally, it was entertainment/news shows, internet "window shopping," People magazine (unless Sarah Palin is on the cover and then I'm still interested). It is probably something else in your life.
I feel like I have been finally freed up. For the first time, my actions are based on a true love, a real desire to have closeness with my Father God, rather than performing to seek His approval so that I would have His blessing over my life.
These changes started on the inside and manifested on the outside. I've been consumed from the inside out. And that's where my praise comes from today.
The words to this song are so rich, and so powerful, I don't have much to add. It doesn't matter where you are in your journey, this song seemingly has something for everyone.
In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song; this Cornerstone, this solid Ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My Comforter, my All in All, here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone who took on flesh Fullness of God in helpless babe! This gift of love and righteousness Scorned by the ones he came to save: Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied - For every sin on Him was laid; Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay Light of the world by darkness slain: Then bursting forth in glorious Day Up from the grave he rose again! And as He stands in victory Sin's curse has lost its grip on me, For I am His and He is mine - Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the power of Christ in me; From life's first cry to final breath. Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home, Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
We're back and we come bearing good news! We arrived home from our vacation and took the girls to the doctor Thursday. They had the results from the Oregon culture and Madeline does not have MRSA or anything else; her culture grew absolutely nothing! Praise God!
The doctors in Oregon told us Madeline would have MRSA for life. I learned a little more about antibiotic resistant staph (MRSA) at this appointment. Apparently that only happens once it gets in your bloodstream, and then it is potentially fatal. Madeline's infection was superficial, so she will not have it for the rest of her life. There was a risk of it getting in her blood because she had open, bleeding sores. Thank God, this did not happen. And there would have been a greater risk if this medication didn't work and she had to have IV drugs in the hospital, because she would have had a direct opening in her skin to her bloodstream. Again, thanking God for His protection.
Olivia needed a second culture to be certain her infection was gone. There was nothing on the skin to culture, so they just cultured in her nose even though her last nose culture came back negative. We will continue to keep the girls away from the public until we get her results back, but we believe there is a good chance we will get a call saying she is good to go sometime this week.
Troy is the last to finish his antibiotics and then he will need a new culture. It's still important for him to not spread it, because we also learned the type of staph he has can mutate when it's spread to someone else. So it could be minimal for him, but mutate into MRSA for Madeline.
The doctor said there is no more risk for future infection for us than anyone else. Some of her suggestions for not getting infected again were clean shopping carts off before using, continue using special soap and remove our shoes before walking in our house.
It wasn't all good news for Madeline. The other rash that had appeared on her leg, calf and cheeks is apparently eczema - and a bad case of it. After a few days of treatments, the eczema rash has stopped spreading and seems to be starting to go away. The eczema is a good indication that she has developed an allergy to some food she wasn't previously allergic to -- and is a new allergic symptom for Madeline. We were told to have her tested again for all food allergies. Madeline has a short list of about only 25 foods that she can eat, so it's discouraging to hear that she night have to lose one of those few foods.
Although this might seem like another set back, we are praising God for the first miracle and praying for another. We will be going in Monday night to have allergy testing, for those of you who will continue to pray for her. We are so grateful for the kind words of encouragement you've sent our way. We are beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
I realized as I wrote tonight that many of you have never even met Madeline and might enjoy a recent picture. Here is one from our vacation in Oregon.
A couple weeks ago, I found this verse and have daily prayed it over Madeline.
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
At the same time, I was visiting LauraLee's blog and she had posted this song with the same verse. It has been resonating in my heart ever since. I knew exactly when I would share it with you - it was when we got the good report. So here it is - enjoy!
I remember all the times The good times and the bad I'm still holdin on to you Some days I wanna run Sometimes I come undone But I still belong to you That's how I know that
(Chorus) When I feel like caving in My heart my soul is wearing thin I just want to give up Nothing seems at all to add up Can you hear me Lord? My face is down upon the floor It's then you whisper in my ear Be still and know I'm here
I see a side of you my friend The same struggles that I have And my heart goes out to you I know it's hard to feel alone And this world's so unforgiving I've been feeling that way too But I can tell you
(Chorus)
Is that you? Is this me It's sometimes hard to believe that I am not alone
It's not just you And not just me We all need to believe that We are not alone
God often works in me through music, much like he did Saturday. I was driving Madeline to get her haircut (bye bye mullet -- no I'm not kidding) and this song started. It's usually the verses that I really belt out, but today when it got to "we are not alone" my voice choked up.
Troy and I have received countless emails to tell us how whole families have committed to pray for Madeline's situation, thoughts God has given them to share and Bible verses. I have sat at my computer many times the last few days, with tears running down my cheeks, completely overwhelmed. I feel so incredibly blessed and loved by the body of Christ, many whom I have never even met. And I am blessed by true friends, who care about my daughter enough to "rally the troops" for her.
I know people were praying in Washington, Michigan, Colorado, California, Kansas, Florida, Nebraska....and I had the most beautiful scene come to mind. I could picture a large map of the United States (much like the ones you see during the election converage), with prayers from each of these states rising up one by one to form one big army....doing battle on her behalf, to turn God's ear towards us.
We knew we could trust God to hear our cries as parents. And He kind of forced us to. I did not receive ONE answer to my email, until after the day was done. I didn't know if it didn't get sent out right or they just hadn't come through or what. And then, last night, the stories of those praying and asking friends to pray came pouring in, along with encouraging words and Scriptures the Lord had given them for us -- overwhelming us even more.
I should have known something was happening because I didn't feel alone or scared all day, Thursday. I just felt like I had a job to do and I had to be open to hear from God and put my mind to it and get it done. Well, no wonder I felt so strong - everyone else was fighting the battle. I have to believe God has something SO special for Madeline Joy someday, as the Enemy has tried and tried to harm her. God continues to be faithful to provide the right doctores at the right time. The right knowledge just when we need it. Peace and comfort when it's just too much to think about anymore. And amazing believers to take time out of their day to pass along an email from a "friend of a friend" and then send back Scriptures to keep encouraging us. The tears just keep coming.
Here are just a couple of the verses I have saved for Madeline, so that someday she can read this story and know how much her God cared for her...and how many people fought for her.
They were helped in fighting them, and God handed the Hagrites and all their allies over to them, because they cried out to him during the battle. He answered their prayers, because they trusted in him. ~ 1 Chron. 5:20
O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. ~ Psalm 8:1-4
I know it's Sunday, but I started writing this on Saturday -- doesn't that count for something? Thanks to Cheryl for recommending another great Meme that has encouraged me this weekend. For more songs that inspire, visit Amy.
