It's time for an update, as last week held some scary events for us and the baby. The beginning of last week I continued to be incredibly nauseous and unable to smell just about anything without getting sick. I stayed on bedrest like the doctor prescribed; too bad it wasn't helping ease the nausea. Two nights in a row I went to bed, sick, by 6 pm. Then on Wednesday evening, I had some incredibly sharp cramping and pains in my abdomen. I was hoping for the best, that it was something as simple as gas, even though though it didn't feel that way to me.
By Friday, I noticed my icky pregnancy symptoms had decreased dramatically. Things that were sore before were no longer sore, I wasn't nauseous and I no longer had aversions to smells. To test my theory completely, I sat with the family at dinner (I was fine) and I ate a hot dog to see what would happen (nothing). At this point I was convinced that something was terribly wrong and I started to get worried.
That's right, I started to feel better - and it made me upset! The backstory is, last summer we lost a baby right around this same week. And the series of events leading up to it were sharp abdominal pain and loss of nausea. I was also on bedrest for a separation of the placenta then too. I'm sure it didn't help matters that the baby's due date is coming up next week as well. And although the tests confirmed there was a chromosomal reason we lost that baby, there were too many similarities and a lot on my mind.
With all that history, and more than a few pregnancy emotions, I just began to believe that this baby was gone. I started to prepare myself for the worst and told my husband to do the same. My next ultrasound was still 4 days away, but I got in touch with the doctor's office Saturday morning and explained my symptoms to them. They asked me to drive down immediately.
This was no small task, but we managed to arrange instant childcare for the girls and then make the hour and a half trip down. I cried, knowing what to expect at this appointment. My mind alternating between whether I should take a look at one last picture of my baby, still and gone, or not watch and just save the last ultrasound image in my brain. My husband, on the other hand, stayed quiet during the drive because he said he wasn't sure about it all.
When we got in the room, I tearily told the nurse practioner about the pains and decrease in pregnancy symptoms. She said, "Oh that's good!" And I told her it wasn't a good sign for me, as I'm ALWAYS nauseous until week 14. She smiled and said pregnancy symptoms come and go. I just thought, This is my 4th time around, I know how things go. And then, without warning, the ultrasound picture came up. Even before the tech could locate the heartbeat, I saw the movement. The baby was kicking and waving and moving all around. My hands flew to my mouth and I gasped. The tears were pouring and the nurses were handing me kleenex. I was shocked!
I've never been so happy to be so wrong! And the good news kept coming. The heartbeat was fast and strong. The baby was growing exactly the right size to the day! This was important because one of the signs that the blood clot, or separation as they now refer to it as, is causing harm is that the baby's growth rate diminishes. The size of the separation (of the placenta from the uterus) did increase slightly from 1.5 cm to 2.5 cm. But the size of the placenta has also increased, and there is still much attached. The doctors were not too concerned because I have not been bleeding and just reinforced that I stay on strict bedrest.
And can I just tell you how much easier it is to be on bedrest when you are not nauseous and sick to your very core? I feel like a new woman. At least now I have the energy to do other things. I picked up some books and am able to read now. I downloaded some games to my iPhone to keep my brain working. The girls can come in and jump around on my bed, without it making me queasy. It's much more bearable. The nausea does seem to come and go, just as the Nurse Practioner said it would. Some days are better than others.
And so I ask you to continue to pray for our little one. We need the separation to heal and for any blood clots to absorb. I need to rest in God's peace, and stay off my feet as much as possible.
We've had lots of meals delivered to the house and offers to run errands. We still have help in the mornings for another week, until Emily returns to college. And I have a couple of good friends that call everyday to cheer me up and check up on me. We are SO thankful for all the support. And most of all for your prayers.
Thankfully,
